… becomes your biggest enemy when you are afraid to let go of that which no longer serves or deserves you.  You yearn and grieve the past, which causes you to fear the future without that person or thing.  It’s a crippling and debilitating feeling to imagine a life filled with unfamiliarities whether it’s a new career, new home, new town, new love. Yet you stay.  

 

You’re afraid of the new you because you are so comfortable with this current and broken you.  You cry.  You try to breathe hope and sense into the senseless and perpetual situation you are in.  You feel broken and hopeless, weak and sad, desperate and unkind, used and abused, angry and resentful… alllllll the feels. But the most painful thing to see is the unkindness that you are perpetuating unto yourself. 

 

Oh sis, if you were a fly on the wall watching your actions and inactions, your tears and your words, your desperate cries for help, your sad inner child fearing to live boldly and freely, and watching life flitter on by as you approach another year older. Stop!  Stop it now!  

 

Hold yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Forgive yourself.  Forgive those who’ve hurt you along the way for your sake. Dream a better and freer life for yourself because you are more than deserving and worthy.  Look at all that you have accomplished in life.  You are a warrior that has the scars and wounds to prove you’ve already survived the worst battles.  Check yourself in and prepare for the withdrawals.  It’s gonna hurt, and you’re gonna want to fall back into that familiar territory called weakness, but trust all will be well. God doesn’t sleep, He just has His own timing. You just have to believe and let go of that…

 

FEAR

 – Your girl, Natalie